Conversations with Youis all about authentic connections... Very often the healing
conversations enjoyed with clients, friends and colleagues on FaceBook,
The Spiritual Network and /or Skype are ideally suited for this monthly column
published in Gusto Magazine. The August Issue writing was inspired by a series of sessions and metaphysical
conversations held with a client.
“Everywhere I go, couples abound. I have not had a relationship in a
very long time. I think I’m scared to get hurt again. How do I mend my broken
heart?” Love Hurts
H.S. Since you asked,Love Hurts, what if you could
re-examine what love is? To keep it really simple, let’s say that there
are 3consciousness states
of love: Love of Self,
Love of Other, Love of All. All three haveloveas the common denominator But let’s be more precise. I propose that we
define the LOVE denominator aseverything; the air you breathe, as the ocean fish swim, as
the fabric of this Universe. Ok?
L.H.Ok, but how does that work to help me feel good
H.S. Well, let’s look at Love of Self. Ask
yourself these 3 questions and pay attention to how your body and mind respond:
1. Do I deserve love?
2. How do I receive love and gratitude?
3. Can I look at myself in the mirror and say I LOVE YOU?
L.H.Oh, that’s intense. I never thought to ask myself how I receive
love. My stomach actually felt queasy. I think it would be pretty tough to look
at myself and say “I love you!” I have to work on that.
H.S. That’s a great idea. The truth is: the body never
lies. The mind, well, it loves to assert truth! What the mind
believes as self- important, it will seek to confirm in your everyday life.
Once the mind is comfortable with its truth, you can feel safe and in
control. In fact, the mind will regularly invite you to bypass or ignore
real feelings and propose how you “should” feel so you can maintain status quo.
L.H.Ok,THATreally hit home. My
head is definitely in charge. I guess my mind’s been working overtime to
figure out how to keep me safe from what I perceive hurts, like being in love!
If I’m not really ok with love in myself, it's way easier to believe that it is
all about “the other” not loving me. Hmm, all this time, I’ve been
projecting, feeling angry and even feeling jealous... OMG, I’ve
been a victim of my own perception!
H.S. Thatis an incredible insight! I totally empathize with you. Sounds
like you’ve been dealing with a lot. The very fact that all those
feelings have surfaced, I propose, is a blessing. It’s your heart
and body letting you know that the “upper-management” -your mind- needs to
experience the Truth about Love. The moment all of you (your
mind-body-heart-spirit) aligns with Truth; you heal the Self. When you love your
Self...it’s so much easier to feel at peace withLoving the Other.The Self and
Other; it's a dance teaching each person what it is to give and receive love,
attention, kindness and compassion. The whole dynamic is based upon your
shared needs, hopes, desires, expectations and feelings. In all relationships, when something
triggers you, remember that you have the power to change your choices and reactions. It is your awareness that reveals the
expectations and attachments that You, yourself place on Love.
L.H.It’s all starting to make sense. If I am really honest with myself, I projected fears and placed conditions not only on my partner but myself as well. When we broke up, trust was breached, I thought there was
something wrong with me even though I had been cheated on....oh boy, there’s a
lot of pieces of this whole puzzle that are falling into place.
H.S.Love is a powerfully supportive force in any situation and conditionJ Love is what
creates the space to see and eventually heal the fears that drive the need for
conditions. Your mind constantly strives to figure out what love is. It always
does its best and in the end, you learn to move beyond the mind and to trust
something much bigger.
L.H.Trust is a big thing for me. I think that a lot of my issues with
love have to do with my need to control. I have always had a hard time with
trust! I have been disappointed so many times ...and I mean even as a kid!
H.S.That’s what great about looking at the healing power of love!J
L.H. This conversation rattles me but I feel like a tonne of bricks have been
lifted off my shoulders.
H.S.Absolutely! It's your Truth. It takes courage
to delve inside but that’s where you
always find your perfect solutions.
L.H.Life is absolutely crazy! Or maybe humanity is! Why do we go around
creating so much pain and hurt when all we want is LOVE?
H.S.I totally agree with you and it perfectly leads
intoLove of All. To keep it simple, I
propose that you and I; that we (all) exist to purposefully experience LOVE of
ALL. Life is an experience of love and joy, pain and suffering within
your Self and with the Other. The light in you accepts the darkness
within. It is the path to knowing
yourself as unified, whole and truly complete. Such love exists and this is the
human spirit’s healing adventure. Love of Allis your Unity Consciousness. It is
pristinely singular yet so incredibly complex! Love of All, well, it’s a
REALLY BIG concept. We could spend many sessions talking about this! So, it’s best to break this
metaphysical truth down to what most impacts your world, right now. What makes
the most sense to you?
L.H.Love My Self!
L.H. I think I need to let that whole idea go....
H.SLet go of what idea?
L.H.Love Hurts... I am ready forLove Heals!
Interested in Holistic Living & Heaaling? Read Gusto Magazine, Hamilton's Wellness Magazine!